Welcome to Day 16 of the 30 Days of Encouragement series – Trusting the Process! Today’s post is all about trusting the process and enjoying life from that wherever you are in it. This series encourages you to enjoy where you are, extend grace to yourself as you step into the unknown, and keep going even when it is difficult. 

I Don’t Like This

I will be frank and tell you that I really do not like ‘trusting the process.’ I wanted to know yesterday how my life will be twenty years from now. When I take a leap of faith, I would like the roadmap, the ETA, and an iced coffee for the duration of the experience. Much to my chagrin, that is not how the process works. I am, however, learning to enjoy where I am at the given moment – which has been an adventure in and of itself.

It’s All In Your Mind

Learning how to enjoy where I am on the way to where I am going has simply boiled down to how I think about the current situations I find myself in. Perspective plays a significant role in whether or not I am miserable or joyful. Note that I did not say happy. I’ve heard happiness described as dependence on whether things happen to go the way you want. That in and of itself is not a bad thing. We all like when things happen to go our way. Inevitably though, things will not go the way we would like, which is why perspective plays such a key role. My view is to choose joy over happiness since I cannot control happenings. 

A Matter of Timing

I have found the most challenging part of trusting the process is trusting the timing of it all. I mentioned above that I want the roadmap when I start off on a new course. It would be lovely if said roadmap included signs letting me know when I will arrive at x,y, and z, as well as, providing the distance to each.  You will be arriving at your desired outcome in two days; please enjoy the rest of your trip.  Gah. That would be incredibly nice. I have yet to have that happen, though. What has occurred is the realization that if I know what I desire is en route, then what does the timing have to do with my enjoyment of it all? Why was I hinging enjoyment on timing? Perspective. That’s why. When I shifted my mindset from when (future) to now (present), I found myself much more relaxed about the entire thing.  

Small, Simple Tips for Trusting the Process

• Choose joy over happiness.  I think of joy as the rocks in a river, with happiness being the flow. Depending on the source, the flow can increase or decrease, but the rocks are always present despite the flow level. Happiness can be fleeting because it depends on happenings that happen to go the way you like. Enjoy it when it is here, but do not be overly dependent on feeling it. Due to the nature of life, rely more on joy by making sure to have a few rocks on hand, so to speak. Here are some suggestions: sing songs you love to yourself, surround yourself with items that light you up, recall good memories, find a few moments to yourself, etc. Anything that brings you joy. 
• Check in with your perspective.  It is easy to slip into an unhelpful viewpoint in any given situation. This does not mean that what is happening around you is not unfair or you are in the wrong. It merely means falling into a perspective of constantly seeing yourself as the victim or falling into self-pity hinders a person from obtaining what they want. We all do it at some point or another. Due to that, check in to see what you are thinking and if you could do better. You cannot control other people, but you can control how you think, what you say, and how you act.  
• Focus on the present.  When I really struggle with this one, I sometimes imagine the exact outcome I am hoping for and feel all the excitement for that future date. It seems counterintuitive, but by doing that, it reminds me I am on the way to my desired outcome an to enjoy where I am in the meantime. A few other things to help keep you in the present are deep breathing, asking what you can do at this moment, and reminding yourself that the timing is not within your control. 

Until Next Time,

Sarah