Welcome to Day 22 of the 30 Days of Encouragement series. This series encourages you to trust the process, extend grace to yourself as you step into the unknown, and keep going even when it is difficult. Today, I will provide three tips I use to help me cope with overwhelm.

In the last post (well over the two weeks I thought it had been), I mentioned being on an emotional rollercoaster. I fought the good fight, but it got me a bit in the end. Mentally, it has been non-stop overwhelm for the past couple of weeks. The good news about it is, in comparison to prior years, this year was a vast improvement. Yay! I was still dealing with the old familiars such as self-sabotage, self-berating, and all their merry friends. However, I was absolutely determined to keep going despite them. I applied one of the tips I mentioned last time, and I chose to focus on my growth. Here are four more tips I did that helped me get through it.

1. I became curious and listened. It can be challenging to listen to the emotions you’d prefer not to experience, yet sometimes it is necessary. They can tell you things about old wounds or the incorrect mindsets that keep you stuck in the loop. For example, when I felt rejected, I became curious as to why I felt that way. When I removed my emotions from the equation and became dispassionate about it, I could see that I was rejecting myself. There was no external force of rejection in this instance. It was my thoughts creating the appearance of rejection. Which leads directly into tip #2…
2.  I did not believe everything I was thinking. I get it. Thoughts can be overwhelming, to say the least. Especially when they are loud, never-ending, and/or stuck in an obsessive loop. Back to the example of rejection. Past experiences, specific actions, or lack thereof, can bring up feelings of rejection even if that is not happening. Since emotions and thoughts are connected, it can spark a mental loop. It is vital to remove emotion from the equation and look at things logically. Once I looked at the actual evidence, not what I was thinking or feeling, I caught the cognitive distortions at play and stopped them. Sidenote: this is the mark, but it will not be hit every time, be gentle with yourself.
3. I educated myself on cognitive distortions. The internet provides a wealth of knowledge on a plethora of topics. Fortunately, one of those topics is mental health. Cognitive distortions fall under that umbrella. According to Therapy In A Nutshell, cognitive distortions are ways the mind will convince us of something that isn’t actually true but feels true. We each have them in one way or another. I took time to watch videos and read about cognitive distortions to better learn how to fight them and get me back on track more quickly. Check out this video I found very helpful in explaining some of them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAVGyRMS3gE
4. I kept my personal goals at the front of my mind.  In the past, when these mentally complex cycles popped up, I’d give up on my goals and/or throw in the towel. It was self-sabotage solely to feed my pity parties. Not this time. I kept my objectives firmly in mind, even if I wasn’t hitting the target daily…which I definitely was not. The difference was I pre-determined to dig my heels in and hold on. Even when I did not hit the mark, I had already decided that I was not giving up the ground I had gained when I was not overwhelmed. I was going to get up the next day and try again. I have found this to be an essential tool in my mental health tool belt. I have to make decisions before my feelings try to derail me. That does not mean my emotions do not have input; it merely means they do not make the final decision the majority of the time now. Make the decision, and the emotions can catch up. Try it and see how it works for you.

I hope you found those tips helpful! Remember to keep moving forward by making your goals small and simply attainable, particularly when overwhelmed. This way, you will still be taking steps in the direction you want to go and building confidence in your abilities.

Until Next Time,

Rah