Welcome to Day 18 of the 30 Days of Encouragement series. This series encourages you to trust the process, extend grace to yourself as you step into the unknown, and keep going even when it is difficult. 

Today’s post is Avoiding War, with anxiety being the false sense of security that brings it about. 

Avoiding and Obtaining

I recently came across a quote that has stuck with me for a few days. The quote is by Demosthenes (a name I had never heard before), and it goes like this, “Beware lest in your anxiety to avoid war you obtain a master.”   After reading it, I realized how often I allow anxiety to derail me from progressing in various areas of my life. I did not want to deal with the feelings being dredged up because it made me anxious, but I obtained different ‘masters’ as Demosthenes put it, by preventing the temporary war within. I never saw them as such until that moment, though.

Dreaded Anxiety

Due to avoiding war, I now have multiple areas in need of repair. My finances, fitness, and habits are some areas that instantly come to mind. I actively avoid dealing with my finances because I battle a scarcity mindset, making me very anxious. However, I simultaneously reinforce the perspective I am fighting against by avoiding dealing with them. Ergo, scarcity thinking is still active. Anxiety feels horrible. Feeling horrible is not a nice experience, so pushing back against anxiety is necessary.  

Push It

Avoiding war via anxiety is merely a temporary fix for whatever you are battling. Avoidance will only serve to prolong and intensify an issue, whereas a resolution will end the matter. The excellent news about resolution is it can be a single act or a process. Pushing back on anxiety, the precursor to avoidance, does not have to be complicated or overwhelming. It does require some grit, though. So how can we push back? Here are some small, simple tips that can help.

• Talkback to your giants.  Tell whatever causes anxiety to the point of avoidance that it no longer determines your actions. You do. Make this determination deep inside, and hold onto it. Think about the end goal you would like to see in those areas and stay focused on those when the overwhelm shows up.
• Find the method that works for you.  A beautiful thing about facing anxiety in any area is that various ways are usually available. This process can be a bit of trial and error, so give yourself some grace as you test them out. For the finance example, multiple templates are available through Microsoft, various personal finance bloggers, books, etc. Research a variety of individuals, see what overlap there is in successful personal finance management, and determine which methods will encourage you rather than defeat you. Cutting myself off from eating out sets me up for failure, so I plan for it now rather than whim it. Here are some links to get you started: http://www.thepennyhoarder.com, http://www.artsandbudgets.com, http://www.ramseysolutions.com, http://www.delyannethemoneycoach.com
• Be proud of what you ARE accomplishing.  Know going in – you will not be perfect, nor will your actions be perfect. You are facing areas that bring up complicated feelings, which is something to be proud of. Some days you will be brilliant and fall short of the mark on other days. That is okay. The key here is to GET BACK UP when you do fall short. The way to do that is to remind yourself of the successful bits. It does not have to be a ‘big’ thing you’ve accomplished (though those deserve praise too!), but also the small stuff. I am not at the fitness level I dream of, but I am moving, lifting, and walking more consistently than I ever have. That is something worth celebrating, and you have those things too!

Until Next Time,

Sarah